Meeting Your 2b Otherhalf
You spot her across a dark, smoky room. You buy her a drink. You think she said her name was Laura, but you can't hear that well over the heavy pulse of the bass. After a few minutes of small talk, you ask for her number. She scribbles it down, smiles, and shortly returns to her friends. You think things went pretty well until you call her three days later, only to hear Carl from Carl's Dry Cleaning answer the phone. What went wrong?
Here's the thing: Many women do not like meeting men at bars. Sure, you're good-looking, dressed nicely, even funny, but you keep getting fake phone numbers, polite rejections, and blatantly rude refusals. You're looking for women in all the wrong places. Bars and parties may seem like great spots to meet women, but women are rarely open to come-ons of any sort in these settings. Bars and parties exude mystery, wildness and sex; many women see men who are on the prowl at bars and parties as generic partiers who only want one-night stands.
Pathetic, but true: Many women wander around hardware store aisles with very little idea of what they are doing -- and lots of questions. If she looks like she's trying to decide which item to buy, politely offer a suggestion and show her anything else she may need (including your number for house calls). "I once went to the hardware store looking for caulking for my windows. I knew I needed the white stuff and a caulking gun, but I had no idea how it worked," says Jenn, 25. "I finally asked this guy which gun was better, and he ended up coming over to help me caulk the windows. Now we're going out, and you wouldn't believe the amount of caulking jokes we have."
Not only do you get to be surrounded by a group of sweaty, athletic women, but you also may meet someone who shares your love of sports. Try consoling a woman from the losing team and point out one of the excellent plays she made. Or, approach a woman from the winning team. Since her endorphins will be soaring from the exercise and the victory, she may be in a state to say yes to just about anything.
At a bank, the DMV, or an amusement park. This is the time to pull out the wit: funny one-liners can break the monotony of the wait. At the bank, you can be the fun element in a normally tedious and sometimes stressful setting. At an amusement park, lineups are often over an hour long; plenty of time to chat her up, and convince her to spend the rest of the day with you (provided she's not there with her boyfriend). You never know what kind of rides you might end up on.
Here's your chance to prove there is more to you than your swashbuckling good looks and rugged body. Check out a woman who's browsing in your favorite sections. This gives you the opportunity to ask her about a book she may have read, or recommend one that you've read -- especially over a latte at the bookstore's coffee shop.
Painting, cooking or a language class: Although it may have been vehemently covered up in the '50s, women really do love men who can cook for them. And hey, while you're making her swoon over your Pasta Carbonara, impress her with your Italian. These types of classes also offer a perfect excuse to get together later -- to practice your grinding skills (uh, pepper grinding that is), or your tongue rolling skills (to roll your R's in Spanish, of course).
Dance, aerobics, or yoga classes: Once she realizes you're straight, she'll be very impressed by your ability to express your less masculine traits. And not only will you be improving your own physique, you will be surrounded by a classroom full of sculpted, scantily clad, sweating women.
Any dance class that requires a partner (i.e. Latin or swing dancing): Women love men who can dance even more than they love men who can cook. Just try mentioning the words, Dirty Dancing , Patrick Swayze, and John Travolta circa Grease around any woman and see how long it takes for her to sigh orgasmically.
Yes, some women actually go to games too (but maybe just to see the built men running around in tight pants or shorts). Go with a friend, and pay a little less attention to the game, and a little more to the women watching it -- sit next to a couple of women and ask their opinions on a debate you and your buddy are having about the last play, the players, or previous games of the season. Switch teams if you have to -- just don't let all the scoring happen on the field.
These events are usually rallied around passionate and controversial subjects, and the atmosphere is usually emotionally charged, making female attendees more emotionally available (or vulnerable) and open to discussing the events with a fellow concerned citizen. Try attending poetry readings, anti-clear-cutting lectures, or demonstrations to free Tibet. But make sure you actually have a somewhat intelligent opinion on the subject; otherwise she may run straight into the arms of the sensitive zealot with the banner and the guitar.
Your eyes meet as you both reach for the last head of lettuce... The grocery store may seem like a better place to stock up on macaroni and cheese than meet women, but one advantage you have is the element of surprise -- she won't be expecting to meet men while cruising the aisles. Casually make a joke in the produce section; it worked for Jay, 26: "I made a funny comment about the frozen meat, and we ended up shopping together. I let her pay first, and she actually waited for me and we left together." Jokes are good; just don't compliment her on those beautiful melons.
Be free to let your inner French painter out. You will find a plethora of single women at museums, either to admire the beauty of the paintings or to study them on a deeper artistic level. Read up on all the big names before going to visit the permanent collection, or just see the featured exhibit. But learn the difference between Van Halen and Van Gogh before you ask her which one is her favorite Dutch painter.
Pretend you're shopping for your sister or some other female relative and ask either the saleswoman or a female shopper her opinion on which item she likes best. Ask about simple items, such as which sweater goes best with which skirt, or if those polka dot pants really are in style. Don't push your luck by asking her to try it on for you, but most women do enjoy giving advice on which color, size and style you should buy. Bonus: she might automatically assume you're shopping for your girlfriend, that is, until you break the news to her.
Not only will the extra effort help to enhance your personality and your appeal, but it also gives you the chance to meet a more exceptional woman, one who has better things to do than stand at the bar and wait for you to buy her a drink.
You spot her across a dark, smoky room. You buy her a drink. You think she said her name was Laura, but you can't hear that well over the heavy pulse of the bass. After a few minutes of small talk, you ask for her number. She scribbles it down, smiles, and shortly returns to her friends. You think things went pretty well until you call her three days later, only to hear Carl from Carl's Dry Cleaning answer the phone. What went wrong?
Here's the thing: Many women do not like meeting men at bars. Sure, you're good-looking, dressed nicely, even funny, but you keep getting fake phone numbers, polite rejections, and blatantly rude refusals. You're looking for women in all the wrong places. Bars and parties may seem like great spots to meet women, but women are rarely open to come-ons of any sort in these settings. Bars and parties exude mystery, wildness and sex; many women see men who are on the prowl at bars and parties as generic partiers who only want one-night stands.
go where few have gone before
A woman's defenses are up at a bar or party. You need to approach her in a place where she is relaxed and receptive to meeting you. So get away from the booze and the blaring music and approach women in less obvious places -- places where you aren't just an anonymous guy nodding his head to the music with a beer permanently attached to his hand. Approach her in places where she can get a sense of your personality and see that not only do you have interests, but you also share some of hers. Check out this list and you might actually have a chance of getting a phone number that won't connect to Doug's Pizzeria or the clinic for venereal diseases.Number 10
Building supply/hardware stores
Pathetic, but true: Many women wander around hardware store aisles with very little idea of what they are doing -- and lots of questions. If she looks like she's trying to decide which item to buy, politely offer a suggestion and show her anything else she may need (including your number for house calls). "I once went to the hardware store looking for caulking for my windows. I knew I needed the white stuff and a caulking gun, but I had no idea how it worked," says Jenn, 25. "I finally asked this guy which gun was better, and he ended up coming over to help me caulk the windows. Now we're going out, and you wouldn't believe the amount of caulking jokes we have."
Number 9
Not only do you get to be surrounded by a group of sweaty, athletic women, but you also may meet someone who shares your love of sports. Try consoling a woman from the losing team and point out one of the excellent plays she made. Or, approach a woman from the winning team. Since her endorphins will be soaring from the exercise and the victory, she may be in a state to say yes to just about anything.
Number 8
At a bank, the DMV, or an amusement park. This is the time to pull out the wit: funny one-liners can break the monotony of the wait. At the bank, you can be the fun element in a normally tedious and sometimes stressful setting. At an amusement park, lineups are often over an hour long; plenty of time to chat her up, and convince her to spend the rest of the day with you (provided she's not there with her boyfriend). You never know what kind of rides you might end up on.
Number 7
Here's your chance to prove there is more to you than your swashbuckling good looks and rugged body. Check out a woman who's browsing in your favorite sections. This gives you the opportunity to ask her about a book she may have read, or recommend one that you've read -- especially over a latte at the bookstore's coffee shop.
Number 6
Painting, cooking or a language class: Although it may have been vehemently covered up in the '50s, women really do love men who can cook for them. And hey, while you're making her swoon over your Pasta Carbonara, impress her with your Italian. These types of classes also offer a perfect excuse to get together later -- to practice your grinding skills (uh, pepper grinding that is), or your tongue rolling skills (to roll your R's in Spanish, of course).
Dance, aerobics, or yoga classes: Once she realizes you're straight, she'll be very impressed by your ability to express your less masculine traits. And not only will you be improving your own physique, you will be surrounded by a classroom full of sculpted, scantily clad, sweating women.
Any dance class that requires a partner (i.e. Latin or swing dancing): Women love men who can dance even more than they love men who can cook. Just try mentioning the words, Dirty Dancing , Patrick Swayze, and John Travolta circa Grease around any woman and see how long it takes for her to sigh orgasmically.
Number 5
Yes, some women actually go to games too (but maybe just to see the built men running around in tight pants or shorts). Go with a friend, and pay a little less attention to the game, and a little more to the women watching it -- sit next to a couple of women and ask their opinions on a debate you and your buddy are having about the last play, the players, or previous games of the season. Switch teams if you have to -- just don't let all the scoring happen on the field.
Number 4
These events are usually rallied around passionate and controversial subjects, and the atmosphere is usually emotionally charged, making female attendees more emotionally available (or vulnerable) and open to discussing the events with a fellow concerned citizen. Try attending poetry readings, anti-clear-cutting lectures, or demonstrations to free Tibet. But make sure you actually have a somewhat intelligent opinion on the subject; otherwise she may run straight into the arms of the sensitive zealot with the banner and the guitar.
Number 3
Your eyes meet as you both reach for the last head of lettuce... The grocery store may seem like a better place to stock up on macaroni and cheese than meet women, but one advantage you have is the element of surprise -- she won't be expecting to meet men while cruising the aisles. Casually make a joke in the produce section; it worked for Jay, 26: "I made a funny comment about the frozen meat, and we ended up shopping together. I let her pay first, and she actually waited for me and we left together." Jokes are good; just don't compliment her on those beautiful melons.
Number 2
Be free to let your inner French painter out. You will find a plethora of single women at museums, either to admire the beauty of the paintings or to study them on a deeper artistic level. Read up on all the big names before going to visit the permanent collection, or just see the featured exhibit. But learn the difference between Van Halen and Van Gogh before you ask her which one is her favorite Dutch painter.
Number 1
Pretend you're shopping for your sister or some other female relative and ask either the saleswoman or a female shopper her opinion on which item she likes best. Ask about simple items, such as which sweater goes best with which skirt, or if those polka dot pants really are in style. Don't push your luck by asking her to try it on for you, but most women do enjoy giving advice on which color, size and style you should buy. Bonus: she might automatically assume you're shopping for your girlfriend, that is, until you break the news to her.
think outside the bar
A bar seems like an easy place to meet women, beautiful, single women consuming alcohol. But the problem is they don't want to meet you at a bar. To prove to the ladies that you have more substance than a light ale, you need to make more of an effort than throwing on a black shirt and some aftershave. You need to go to places where she can see that you are a well-rounded guy with interests and a functioning brain.Not only will the extra effort help to enhance your personality and your appeal, but it also gives you the chance to meet a more exceptional woman, one who has better things to do than stand at the bar and wait for you to buy her a drink.
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